Is It Better To Give Than To Receive?

Take a deep breath and blow it all out.  Now keep it that way.  Don't inhale.  Don't receive.  What do you notice happening in your body?  How long are you able to keep it up?  Most of us grew up hearing the cliche that it is better to give than to receive and for every incredible gift we get there is a faint stench of guilt marring the excitement and joy.

Look at the laws of our earth.  Plants take in water, nutrients, and sunlight and in return they give off oxygen for us. Some of them give beautiful blooms, healing properties, or food.  There is no giving without receiving.  We can't survive without taking in breath and giving it back.  If both things have to be in place in order for the other to exist, how can one be better than the other?

How many times have you given someone a compliment and they tell you you're wrong?  It doesn't take long before you learn your lesson and stop complimenting them.  They can't receive it.

I recently learned that the original translation of the phrase, "It is better to give than to receive" is actually "It is better to be in A POSITION to give than A POSITION to need to receive."  It changes the nuances doesn't it?

I have never met a person who didn't long for more.  We are created for abundance and joy.  In relationships,  in Spiritual connection, in finances, in time.  I encourage you to practice receiving this week.  When you get a compliment breathe it in and let it land in your heart.  If you find a coin on the road celebrate it. Notice how much more you have to give at the end of the week when you let God fill you up.

(Concepts adapted from Millionaire Mind Intensive and "The Go Giver.")

Millionaire Mind Intensive

This past weekend I and my business partners as well as my hubby, went to a conference on money management.  Before you roll your eyes, the difference about this conference was that the founder's philosophy is that we all have an emotional "money blueprint" and that blueprint tells us how much money it is right, safe, or possible to have.  The goal of the conference was to raise people's blueprint so that it didn't have limits.  

The presenters gave numerous examples of their own and other's experiences.  One facilitator talked about how angry he was because of an abusive childhood and how the root of his drive to make money had been to prove his father wrong.  He said that because his root of earning money was about anger, the more money he made the angrier he got.  Eventually he lost it all.  He talked about dealing with his emotional issues around money and how that had impacted his ability to rebuild his wealth and retain it.

I felt like I was at home this weekend.  Intuitively I have believed these last several years that if I get my emotional life around money stable that I would be able to move forward into the goals and dreams I have had for a lifetime.   This intuition has paid dividends and Marcel and I have been continuously increasing our income each year during a recession.

Becoming emotionally stable around this topic is no easy task though.  Think about it; what are your beliefs about money?  Do you feel a little guilty when you think about how nice it would be to have a lot of it?  Do you believe it's really difficult or even impossible for you to be wealthy?  There are a lot of get rich quick schemes out there, but rarely does anyone talk about emotions and beliefs about money.  This conference did and in powerful ways offered healing and hope for things that held us back.

Throughout the weekend I kept marking things in my notes and reminding myself to blog about them.  Needless to say I have a series of topics in mind and wanted to let you know that the next few weeks will be a series of sorts, looking at our attitudes and beliefs about money.  I will likely suggest exercises for those of you who are interested.  So to kick things off I wanted to share about one of my favorite ideas from the weekend.

One of the suggestions at the conference was something I put into practice immediately.  They suggested a success journal.  Adam Markel, who is the CEO at Peak Potential and was our main presenter, talked about practicing this discipline daily.  He pointed out that if a success is not acknowledged and celebrated it is not actually a success to us.  I thought about what an impact this makes in all areas of our lives.  Not just money.  I have so many clients who struggle to make changes simply because all they can see are the things that are wrong.

So here is my challenge: start a daily success journal.  Follow this series.  For anyone who is active and in contact about their impressions or findings during this series, we might have a surprise for you! :)

For anyone interested, here is the content of my success journal so far today...

1) I got clarity on a long-term wound in therapy.  Began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
2) I figured out our net worth despite the fact that I wanted to run for the hills rather than face the reality.  I set goals about how that number will change by the end of the year.
3) I cleaned the kitchen
4) I called our homeowners insurance about the leak in the basement. (I tend to want to run and hide when financial issues hit, this is why it was a success to follow through.)
5) I got a new calendar and labeled important dates
6) I started a new success journal!

All of these felt great to record and the day isn't even over yet! They don't have to be huge successes, just important to you.  Feel free to share your successes in the comment section, we'd love to hear about them.  We'll look forward to sharing more with you in the weeks ahead.

Dream Trips & Chocolate!

I decided that I wanted to add a section to the blog on business options/opportunities. (Yes, I do also have ulterior motives for this particular post.  Let me explain!)  From time to time I plan to invite women who are working their own businesses to guest blog (there are a few in the works right now) or I will highlight options that you might be interested in.

Today I wanted to talk about a company called Dream Trips.  It is a direct sales company (many of you may know it as network marketing.)  I tend to think that these types of companies have gotten a bad reputation because too many people have tried to make it sound like it's easy money that you don't really have to put any effort into.  My experience is that these companies can be great opportunities if you are passionate and interested in the topic and ready to put in some time building it up; just like any other endeavor.

Years ago I had a dear friend who was making a lot of money in a scrap-booking business.  She LOVED scrap-booking and was always encouraging me to join.  I hate taking pictures and rarely open a photo album.  Not a good business opportunity for me!  You get the idea?  If you are passionate about the product or service it is not sales.  You just naturally find yourself telling people about this great product, service, etc. The difference with direct sales is that with these businesses, if you put the time in, you are going to have an unlimited source of income.  This is unlike your 9-5 job that is dependent on the companies budget and your boss's idea of your value to the company.  If you are valuable you will likely get a 3% raise.

Given the income potential (Yes, I have actually made money from these type's of businesses) and my passionate desire to chart my own course, I find myself a fan of this type of business.  You will likely hear about a few of them from me. Having said that, I will say that Dream Trips is a company Marcel and I signed on with.  We have more than one set of friends who absolutely rave about the trips. (All inclusive, four & five star hotels, all over the world, safari's, cruises, etc.)  We signed up quite awhile ago and like typical Type A's, we haven't actually gone on a trip yet.

After signing on we promptly forgot about it.  I don't mean we actually forgot about it, but we got busy with other things and it got buried under a different pile of projects.  The really ridiculous thing is that if we tell four friends who decide they'd like to join there is no monthly fee.  I would really like to stay in until we actually take advantage of one of these wonderful trips.  So, if you like to travel and you like to travel in style for really cheap, here is the link.

Marceltravel.worldventures.biz

When you get to the website click the number two on the left side of the screen to see a short video (15-20 minutes) for details about the company.  You can sign-up on the spot if you wish.  To the first four people who sign up, we would like to send you a 1 lb. box of your favorite chocolates.  (Yes, the good stuff, Godiva, See's, etc.)

When signing up please make sure to post on the blog and we will respond to obtain information on your favorite chocolate after we've confirmed your registration with the company.  After that, we might be off to Aruba together!  Also, any of you who have experience with the trips from this company, please feel free to post comments about your experience!

Thanks for your time everyone, we'll see you next week!

Shame Spiral

It seems the world has gone mad sometimes.  I know the media always has some catastrophe to report, but I’m talking beyond that.  There are moments where it seems every email, every phone call and every client contact I have, someone is going through a crisis.  I have wondered at times why this seems to happen, and all I can figure right now is that the holidays are often incredibly difficult and they invariably bring up any old pain people have that hasn’t been addressed.  I often feel sad about this, but not hopeless.  I see it as a chance for people to heal on a deeper level.  To let God touch their pain and clean out the wound.

I don’t say this from a professional detached place.  I say it from a personal place.  There have been moments in my life where to let God touch and see my pain feels like it might kill me.  And it’s no wonder, His love is that powerful.  Ephesians talks about God building us up from the inside so we can understand the depth, the height, and the width of His love for us.  That recently hit me on a deeper level and I realized that to let someone touch our shame and pain, to let someone see it and face complete love in response; takes some inner strength.  And scripture tells us that God needs to build us up so we can take it.  Without that build up, the power of God’s love would crush us.

In the face of our pain though, it seems we often think the answer is to start listing all the ways we are despicable people.  I call it the "shame spiral."  The voice in our head that says horrendous things that we would never consider saying to someone else.  And what’s worse is that sometimes we attack anyone who suggests this may not be a good idea.  Scripture talks about Christ not coming into the world to condemn the world.  That voice in our heads that tells us we’re horrible people and the world would be better off without us; that is Satan.  It never comes from Christ.  

I have done a fair share of sinning.  Things that I don’t feel comfortable posting on the internet.  I have noticed over the years in the face of things that I didn’t even know I was capable of, God has always been gentle in His correction of me.  He has always lovingly brought me back to His side.  And sometimes the face of that love has been more painful than if God was beating me up.  So I beat myself up and on some level feel more pious because of it.

When people I love are convinced they are so bad there are no answers for them I feel angry. I see it as a direct victory for Satan. I feel angry because I know the years and the joy that the same cycle cost me. It impacts every level.  We certainly can’t build a business in that place.  Really all there is to do in that place is to numb the pain somehow.  Purge, drink, use, have sex, cut, shop, eat...the list of behaviors that will medicate us is long.  And then we feel guilt and the cycle continues because we have new and fresh evidence of how horrible we are.

Here is the reality, you are the Bride of Christ.  Sounds cliche?  Heard it all before?  

Start by picking out the dress.  Money is no object because the Father of the bride owns the universe.  Picture your dream dress.  The flowers.  The setting.  Perfect in every way, with all of the people you love present.  Go ahead and picture it.  Who is there?  Close your eyes and see the details.  Smell the smells.  Taste the food.  What’s on the menu?  Feel the beating of your heart to know You have told Him everything about you, the best and the worst, and He loves you without hesitation or reservation.  Watch His eyes as you walk toward Him.

After the wedding you get to look forward not to a life of perfection, but a life of perfect love, a life where someone is standing by your side through every trial.  Someone who will walk beside you and has all the resources you need to build your business, raise your children, and bask in love.  

This is our reality.  We walk by faith and not by sight.  That means our reality is unseen, but just as real as the ground under our feet.  This New Year, what would it look like to ignore the lies and step into the reality we see in God’s eyes?  How would your life change?  And what would you do with this clean slate?  

Feel free to leave comments.  We'd LOVE to hear from you.