Surprise Gift On the Way!!!

Recording for our free gift!

There are many exciting things happening here at the String of Pearls blog and we wanted to give you just a taste of it.  Hopefully, this will get you full of anticipation for what is around the corner!

Recently we have been booked to be guests on the radio show The Mind of the Matter.  This particular show is on women entrepreneur's and we are so excited to be able to share with a wider audience about the mission of our business.

When we booked this particular appearance, we continued some prayers that had started a few weeks ago, about wanting to offer the women who subscribe to our blog a gift of some sort.  Most of you have probably noticed that websites will ask you to sign up for updates etc. and sometimes they will offer some sort of free gift.  We wanted our gift to be something that would offer true value to the women on our blog and we decided the best time to launch this gift was in conjunction with the radio show.

Steve Hickman was amazing in helping me get comfortable and ready to record.
It was a gift getting to work with him

There was a rub though; we had no idea what our free gift should be.  In all honesty, I began to panic a bit and there's nothing like a little panic to ruin a good idea!  The day after my panic I remembered that we have dedicated this thing to God.  Beyond that, He gave us the idea for the blog in the first place!  I decided I would do some consulting with Him.

The first item on the agenda was to get quiet and still the panic.  This was a tall order but after some journaling, talking with friends, prayer, etc.  The peace came back.  And a few moments after the peace came back, so did the idea.  

We don't plan to tell you exactly what it is today.  That would ruin the surprise!  But we will give you a few hints through the pictures and will let you know that the surprise will be available on June 7 and afterward, for those of you who subscribe to the blog.  We feel God sent the idea for this, and actually, it is something my clients have been asking me to do for years, which makes it doubly exciting!

We will also post a notice and send out emails to remind you on June 7, when the radio show will air.  We hope that you will send the link to all your friends and spread the word about what String of Pearls is doing!   

Personal Business

When I read about the String of Pearls blog my first thought was, “This is definitely not for me.”  Businesses, entrepreneurship, marketing, and money, are all words I find extremely intimidating and make my insides cringe! I’m guessing this is most likely due to insecurities surrounding my lack of knowledge and experience in the corporate world. The desire to learn is there but the opportunities and the willingness to learn are often not present at the same time. 

Over the past 10+ years I have been on what seems like a never ending road leading to the middle of nowhere. Life seemed to only be filled with pain, hurt, depression and isolation. About 3 years ago I started my journey on the road to healing. I tell you this as background information for what follows. 

I love learning new information that will aid in becoming a well-rounded person. Striving to find out who I am and my purpose in this world has been my top priority for several years now. I have often criticized myself for the knowledge deficit around personal finances, business opportunities, marketing, and money. During some quiet time yesterday I realized that I might know more about entrepreneurship than I give myself credit for. I had this abstract idea that I have been learning how to run my own business for years now. I am my own ‘business’. I realized that taking risks and investing in myself is the training which must first occur before I am able to invest in others or in this world as a whole. I can’t skip steps A and B and still expect to reach step C. I think there are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of every business requiring attention and acknowledgement. I do (we do) have internal assets. They might have been buried for a long time but can be rediscovered. By uncovering our assets they begin to appreciate (to increase the value of an asset in excess due to improvements or additions made to it)! 

From accounting or finance 101, I randomly thought about the concept of absorbed accounts (an account that has lost it’s separate identity by being combined with another account). In a personal sense, I can relate to this term as I am often tempted to give up my own identity so to be more accepted by others. This account usually gets me “stuck” and causes my assets to depreciate or to become buried again. 

So, in the end, because I have been on this journey of self-discovery, of investing in the business of me, maybe I'm not as far away from being an entrepreneur as I thought!

What about you?  Does the idea of being an entrepreneur intimidate you?  Tell us about it.

-Brianne Gibson

Woman, Thy Name is Entrepreneur!

I found this short video while I was kicking around on YouTube and it made me stand up and cheer. It is just under 2.5 minutes and we couldn't help but share it with you. Enjoy and finish your week inspired!

The Wind That Brings Change

As I look out my window, not only can I see the trees being tossed around by the wind but  I can also hear it howling and whistling around the windows.  Today the weather in New Mexico is exceptionally windy gusting up to 35mph and is ushering in a cold front causing the temperature to drop 30 degrees.  After enjoying days of 70-80 degree weather my body is screaming, “Noooo!”

I was thinking about the wind bringing sudden and drastic changes in the weather and how God compared it in scripture to His Holy Spirit.  Acts 2:1-2 says, “When the day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.  “And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting.”  This was the fulfillment of God’s promise to send and baptize His disciples with His Holy Spirit to empower them to fulfill their mission to grow the church.  This promise is for us too. 

One morning as I was spending time in prayer and asking God to fill me with more of His Holy Spirit, He directed my attention to the lamp sitting on my desk.  He told Me He could not put a 100watt bulb in a lamp that was only capable of handling 25watts or it would blow a fuse.  God revealed to me that I was unwilling to surrender and give Him power and control over all of my life. He would not compete or force His power on me. The more control I release to Him, the more He can fill me with His power.

What I have come to realize is when I surrender and give God control over every area of my life I don’t have to be fearful of being denied of or losing anything, I am only making room for something much greater, His power! 

I pray daily to experience the wind that brings change, the power of God’s Holy Spirit, to fill and empower me to accomplish what God is asking me to do.  I believe as His power increases and my power decreases I have positioned myself to experience the “and suddenly” move of God in my life and circumstances. 

Kathy Hammond

Time to Get Real

Please welcome Michelle to our circle.  Below is a piece she wrote while wrestling with the decision about what dream to choose.  It gives me chills and we are thrilled she allowed us to post it.  Please let her know how it hits you in the comments section.  I love this girl and would love for her to have an overwhelming response from those of you it touches!

Why am I even here? To accept love? To give love? Giving voice to dreams? Somehow there's a disconnect; between my head and my heart. Between my life and my dreams. And a pulsating, fervent warrior drums the lull of "more" in my chest.

But what? Where? What more can I achieve? I feel lik such a loser. Like I could try to live the life I want but it wouldn't work out for me because I'm not a good enough person. Like who wants me, ala carte?

I feel so weak, vulnerable, impotent. "Welcome to my life, I have nothing to offer." I will be discontent even here. Going abroad will not make the drummer stop. More. More. More. He says I'm made for more. It thumps through my veins. More. So if it is some "god-sized-hole" and it's not going away, I guess I have to deal with it. Quit running and dodging and hiding from this hole. Or pretending it's not there. Or stuffing it quiet with stress, tasteless food, heartless exercise, and bland relationships where I am not me.

Even hearing the phrase "god-sized-hole," I think, "what a croc." So maybe I'll give it another, more comfortable name. I'll just call it More. More says there are untapped depths of self-love. More says I was made for more than SUVs, cubicles, stale TV shows, Facebook, overeating. More says take off your blindfold, you are wandering in a fenced-off pig pen seeking the next comfort when there are the most beautiful mountains just on the horizon. The most beautiful flowers that create the most appealing fragrances fill the valley. Gentle animals wander and play, exuding a trust and calmness that comes from knowing they are safe. More points out the easy, pure joy of children, even those who don't have a lot of comfortable things.

More urges me to stop and hold hands, look into the eyes of a young boy with a swollen belly from malnutrition. I feel angry, heartbroken, enraged, empowered to help this boy live. No matter what it takes. To put as much into caring for him as I have into pursuing comfort. To let go of the resistance and surrender to the course of life's stream, taking me to unknown and wonderful places.

I scream - "AM I GOOD ENOUGH? I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN."

Self-doubt has been a lifelong friend.

Ok. Fine. I relent. Love me. Let me find happiness providing equality and hope. Maybe I have a savior complex. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels because I'm not living wholeheartedly here, so how do I expect to do so just because I'm in a foreign country? Maybe living wholeheartedly is easier abroad because that's always been my clear purpose with humanitarian trips. Literally waking up every morning to make someone's day better and mine is certainly at the top of that list.

My heart can't escape the din of the battlefront. I want in it. I want to fight, to tend to the sick, to suit up and show up. I think I should be doing this here, maybe I can start by practicing little things. I could experiment by doing something that gives me the feeling of living my purpose. Today.

God. This is not for the numb.

Our Contest Winner!

Hello Everyone!  As promised, we are giving you some information about our contest winner as well as excerpts from an interview in which we talked about her experience at Guerilla Business School.

Our winner was Julie Cole and she is a newlywed and nurse on the mother/baby unit of her hospital.  Julie entered the contest because she realized that while she loves certain aspects of nursing, she does not love what working nights has done to her physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  There has been a part of her that knows she was made for something more, although she has not been sure yet what that is!

Julie and I during a negotiation exercise at GBS.  We were negotiating for a ride in the ambulance, but the paramedics didn't want to be suspended without pay, even for us, so we compromised on a picture in the cab!  Such fun!

While at the conference Julie did a lot of soul searching about what she's passionate about.  She was able to gain some clarity on it and realized that she is passionate about women's health and wellness.  Part of this awareness has been about learning to take care of herself in spite of her strange work hours and how incredible she started to feel once she took up a regular exercise regime.  She also has a heart for new mother's who go through so many changes once they bring their little one's home.

When asked what part of the conference impacted her the most, Julie shared that initially, it was a little hard to be in a room with 500 business owners when she does not have one yet, but she realized early on that she could apply all the concepts to her personal life.  So when the presenter said that our businesses are a reflection of us, she realized that she wants to have an incredible business someday and that meant that she would be investing in herself now; to learn, to grow, and to be incredible!

Julie and I had breakfast this morning to follow up on the conference and I think for me at least, this is when the reason for the contest became really clear.

A little background first; many of you know that the contest came up pretty fast and the deadline was tight.  It was a last minute decision on our part but it was such a great opportunity we decided to run with it even though we weren't able to offer as much prep time as we would have liked.

Due to the tight deadline we did not have many applicants, but the applicants we did have were all known to us, and so it was especially hard to pick.  Without going into all the specifics, we felt Spiritually guided that Julie was our winner.  I think there were moments that Julie questioned that because she is not currently in business for herself.  But it was clear.

So now flash forward to this morning over oatmeal at Panera; Julie was sharing about what has been going on since we returned from the conference.  Two different organizations that she loves have sought her out and she has had interviews this week.  These are not options for FT work and it doesn't mean that we are announcing she's a millionaire after attending the conference with us, (If you know an "overnight millionaire" I guarantee you there was a lot of discipline and little steps taken prior to the big payday.) but what it does mean is that as she has opened herself up to pursuing her goals and hopes, other opportunities are coming her way in areas that she is passionate about.

This is how God works!  As a mentor said to me once when I was struggling in a job I didn't want, "It seems clear to me that God made you a square peg and He is not going to keep you in a round hole."

So what areas are you a square peg in a round hole?  What are the things you'd like to change or move into?  Tell us about them in the comments section.  And be sure to say hi and congratulations to Julie! We'll look forward to seeing the changes with you!

The First Few Days in LA

It has been my experience that when I’m in a time of action...when I’m on track Spiritually and feel like I’ve been given a purpose; when I’m moving toward that purpose; obstacles come up...opportunities if you will.  They may be a simple departure from what I thought my schedule was going to be, an illness, etc.  But I have also noticed that the more important the purpose, the more opportunities I have.  My experience in this area has been confirmed by my first few days in LA, before the conference began.

On the plane I felt God suggest that I spend some time in my Bible.  I don’t like reading my Bible in sight of strangers because I don’t want to be mistaken for one of those obnoxious Christians.  You know the type right?  Pushy and invasive...”have you been saved brother?”  I make no judgement on the state of their hearts, but I have never heard of Jesus interacting with anyone like that.  So I argued with God.  I kept hearing Him say that I would get a gift if I did it.  So finally I put down my Kindle and got out my Bible (Yes, I admit it, I tried to hide the cover.  God’s not done with me yet.)  

Here was my gift...Matthew 25:14-33.  It’s the parable about investments; one servant getting 5000 talents, another 2000, and another 1000.  The first two servants doubled their investment and the last buried it to keep it “safe.”   The last servant gets chastised by his master.  “The master was furious.  That’s a terrible way to live!  It’s criminal to live cautiously like that!  If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least?  The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.  Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most.  And get rid of this ‘play it safe’ who won’t go out on a limb.” (The Message) 

 I feel like I’m out on a limb much of the time.  Much of what I’m doing currently is a new skill set.  But I feel called to it.  I’m risking just like He asks me to do.  Walking in faith.

Opportunity #1, Gift #1

Susan and I met with a dear friend of mine on Sunday.  She is a vibrant amazing woman who I got to know through Marcel when I moved to LA.  I adore her and her story will just blow you away (maybe I’ll interview her for the blog someday.)  Yesterday though, I noticed she wasn’t quite the same as when I last saw her.  She was still funny and warm and beautiful, but there was an edge.  A sadness.  As we all talked over lunch she shared about the struggles she’s been having.  Longing to have a baby, in a church more legalistic than alive, struggling with what she feels she’s been taught and what feels like it’s killing her spirit.  We ended up coming back to the hotel and doing some serious talking with God in which there were tears and hugs.  She told us that she had been hesitant to talk to God lately but what prayer life she had consisted of, “I’m lost, help me.”  “Send me something.”  She left at peace.  I thought we were just going to have brunch and go shopping.  God had other plans.

Opportunity #2, Gift #2

About 24 hours after arriving I got a stomachache.  To give you a sense of what it felt like I would say picture someone taking your stomach out, scraping it up on the inside with a fork so it’s nice and red and raw, and then letting fire ants loose in it.  Pepto Bismal didn’t touch it, but I was still getting hungry at meal times...can we say infuriating?  Susan prayed for me, but nothing shifted.  For two days it ached.  I was a bit whiny I must admit.  I had been looking forward to visiting my favorite eateries for weeks.  I questioned God, and in general drove Susan crazy.  The night before the conference was to begin I announced to Susan, God, and whoever else was listening, that I knew I was at the conference for a reason and that nothing was going to stop me from being there.  That I would “drag my sorry butt to the meetings stomach ache or not.”  I topped this proclamation off by announcing, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper!”  The next morning I woke up with no pain....and promptly lost my wallet...yes, the entire thing.  I had asked God to increase my faith while I was doing my meditation that morning...I have learned it is best not to play around with that particular request. Lol.  I found the wallet (It had fallen out of my purse in the rental car that we had already returned) and the man who returned it got several enthusiastic hugs from me.

Opportunity #3 & 4, Gift #3 &4

After all this, the conference began.  It was amazing.  I felt like I got my MBA in a week and the gifts were incredible.  I’ll share about some of the things I learned in future blogs.  

Opportunities 5-1 Million, Gifts 5-1 Million

For now, since this particular post is getting long, I will sign off saying that the opportunities that came up made me realize that when I’m living in my purpose, I will be attacked, the bigger the attack, the bigger the threat I am.  Anne Lamott, one of my favorite authors, talks about the idea that the bigger the difficulty the more important the thing is that is being birthed.  

What’s being birthed in you right now?  What are the opportunities that are disguised as obstacles?  Remember as you navigate it that the bigger the difficulty, the bigger the gift at the end.

Fishers of Women

As promised everyone, here is Kathy's first blog!  We are so excited to have her wisdom to add and more valuable content for our blog!  Please make sure to leave her a comment and welcome her to our writing circle. :)

I discovered I was an entrepreneur after working about one month in the hospital following my graduation from college with my Bachelor of Science in Nursing.  Was this what I had to look forward to the rest of my life?  Getting up before daylight and running the floors of the hospital, dealing with the stress of demanding doctors and sick patients and LPN’s that were not nice to me.  I can remember the exhaustion I felt at the end of my shift knowing I was going to get up and do it all over the next day.  

I longed to be in charge of my own schedule, be my own boss, and to determine my working hours.  After twelve years of nursing my big break finally came when I became pregnant and then two and a half years later pregnant again.  This was my ticket to stay home and care for our two beautiful daughters. 

When my girls were school age I began contemplating heading back to the hospital. Fortunately God rescued me and led me to my entrepreneur niche.  That was 15 years ago and I continue to enjoy the autonomy, friendships, personal and spiritual growth that it has provided.

String of Pearls is about women entrepreneurs that are connected to each other and are developing friendships while loving, supporting and empowering each other to grow.  If you are like I was, and looking for your niche, I would like to encourage you to take a look at our business team. We are “fishers of women”, which I will also refer to as “fishers of pearls”.  Pearls are very rare and valuable and not easy to find because they are frequently found on the bottom of the ocean concealed in an oyster shell.  

We are fishing for beautiful pearls that are concealed in their own unique shell and are longing to be discovered and set free.  Some of you may have hit bottom and are aching for change, more autonomy and are weary of your j.o.b. (just over broke).  Others may want to stay at home with your children while some are seeking friendship, support and the desire to do something that truly makes a difference in the lives of others. 

Regardless of your stage in life, our team would like to challenge you to break free from your shell and become the beautiful pearl you were created to be.  Join our movement of woman who are discovering who they are, what they want and are committed to make it happen. 

As we take this journey together our mission is to teach and mentor women to become physically, spiritually, and emotionally healthy, to be fulfilled and prosperous in every area of their life, living a balanced, joyful life and to create a “String of Pearls” that extends around the world.

In the coming weeks we will be launching a more formal offer for those of you who have been reading our blog and are interested in this opportunity.  Stay tuned!  We are looking forward to sharing with you!

Kathy Hammond

Interview With Shellie R. Warren, Author

Today's Blog is an interview with my friend Shellie R. Warren.  She has been a freelance author for about 12 years and I met her in academy.  Shellie and I weren't actually super close in high school, but she is one of the few people I have maintained contact with since my days of legalism and self-righteousness (Am I the only one who hesitates to stay in touch with high school friends after becoming extremely embarrassed about who I was in those days?).

Our relationship has been complex and unusual (anyone who knows us both can verify that!).  When I got married the first time I asked Shellie to be a bridesmaid.  She declined saying that she felt it was a mistake. Turns out she saw what I didn't at the time, but rather than ruining the friendship it made it stronger because I trusted her from that moment on with a full and thorough fierceness.  (She said yes to be a bridesmaid in my wedding to Marcel.)  

Shellie Warren

People may not always like what Shellie says, but when she speaks there is never any doubt that she is speaking honestly.  SOOO, given that I write a blog about women entrepreneurs it seemed only appropriate to interview Shellie.  Here is what she said:

1) Tell us a little about yourself.  How did you get into writing and what are you currently working on?

I don't really think I got into writing. It's more like it got into me. My mom told me that when I was a very little girl, my preference above all toys was shaking newspaper (there must be something to that because my brother is an award-winning musician now and he preferred to hit on pots and pans!). I always did well in English and tended to gravitate toward creative writing. Even while in college and having no idea what the heck I was doing there (I flunked out twice, actually and have yet to return...we'll see), I excelled when it came time for papers to be due. 

In 1997 when I penned the poem, "I'm Single and That's Alright with Me" I got a standing ovation at a local poetry spot. It was the first time I realized that maybe my mom actually did know what she was talking about when she told me that I was a writer. In my mind, all I thought was, "Who applies to be a Maya Angelou or a CS Lewis?" As a full-time writer now, I realize the answer is "no one"...if you're gifted with words, words that can enlighten the world in some way, an audience will present itself.

Currently, I'm not sure what I'm working. It's all kind of a blur. I write for a company that commissions blogs on a daily basis. I ghostwrite for a woman that tours as a public speaker. I am a relationships writer for a website in Australia. I am the women's editor and contributor for X3Church.com. I have my own blog for single women that desire marriage: OnFireFastMovement.Blogspot.com. And I'm working on my next book. It hasn't told me what it should be titled yet and so I'm assuming that I'm not supposed to give a lot of details. Other than that, I freelance for a few magazines. A cool way to get a byline and have an unexpected check show up in the mail from time-to-time (you usually get paid 6-9 months after submitting material to major magazines...just a heads up!).

2) Tell us about your books. 

In 2004, I "birthed" my "firstborn". Her name is "Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption". It's basically what I consider to be my sex autobiography in the sense that it shares my journey from sexual abuse to sexual misuse to the beginning stages of abstinence. 

My second is "Pure Heart: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Integrity" Pure Heart, basically picks up where "Inside of Me" left off. I also have a T-shirt line, "Perez Linen" and a friend of mine and I are developing a production company for one man and one woman shows. We haven't trademarked the name yet and so I'll keep that quiet for now (if you're someone who makes money from ideas, be very careful about who you share your intellectual property with. Keep those Facebook and Twitter exchanges to a minimum!).

I do some touring as the women's "Porn and Pancakes" speaker for http://www.xxxchurch.com/. I'm proud of the work that we do when it comes to helping people get free from porn and sexual addiction and so if I were to market anything, it would probably be that most of all.

3) What are some future goals?

I'm at a place in my life where I'm not sure what my future looks like in the sense of what I want to do next. The last 10 years or so have been about doing a lot of healing (college and the early-mid 20s are a real trip!). I spent six years working as a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit and with all of the sexual issues that I had to work through (promiscuity, four abortions, date rape, broken hearts, etc.) that did a lot of healing for me. I'm also in the process of becoming certified to be a licensed doula and so I'm sure that will tie in one way or another. I think more than anything, I want to finish getting Butterfly Angel off of the ground. It's intended to be a non-profit organization that celebrates survivors of sexual abuse. The concept came from a little "love sister" of mine in South Africa who is a survivor of sexual abuse just like I am. She wrote me a poem entitled, "My Butterfly Angel" that has stayed with me ever since. Other than that, I honestly have accomplished more than I ever dreamed on a professional level. I would like to do some documentaries, record a few audio books, do a college tour and maybe become a syndicated columnist at some point, but right now, at this moment, taking a bit of time to travel, to pamper myself, to pat myself on the back for what's already been done is pretty high on the to-do list.

4) What advice would you give to women who want to work for themselves?

Be prepared to work really hard...a lot. For instance, being that I am a writer, it's not like the world is lacking in those and so I have to make sure to market myself and to keep my voice relevant and current. On the financial side of things, 1099s can come to bite you with the sharpest of teeth! Keep up with your taxes. Paying them quarterly is wise. Oh, and if you're wanting stability and to live on the high-end side of life, it's possible, but it's more the exception than it is the rule...especially the first 3-5 years of working for yourself. I have to be quite creative with my finances in order to enjoy the luxury of working from home, but to be on my own schedule...there's nothing like the feeling of knowing that you're putting your blood, sweat and tears (sometimes literally) into building your own dreams rather than someone else's (even the freelancing that I do for others, the byline helps to get my name out to attach to my own visions). This isn't a field for the fickle or faint of heart, though. Self-employment is a ravenous lover that wants a lot of your time and attention. Rarely is there any room to cheat. It requires the same kind of discipline day in and day out. 

5) What role does your Spiritual connection and relationship with God play in working as a freelancer?

I've been living by the motto that the Holy Spirit and I have been discussing as of late: "You don't have to take leaps of faith if you'd simply follow your ordered steps." Some people would say that freelancing requires a lot of faith. I get where they're coming from, but 12 years in, I think it requires more obedience than anything. Every day, I go to God about what he desires of me and when I do that, he makes the path pretty clear. After all, the Word does say in Proverbs 3:5-6 that if we acknowledge him, he will direct us. Since 1997, something else that I've also done, basically every week, is pen a devotional that I send out. For years people have asked when I'm going to publish them. I don't have an answer to that question. I see it as a way of tithing some of my spiritual gifts, including writing, back to the Lord and Malachi 3 tells us that when we tithe, he'll rebuke the devourer for our sake. I think that is what has kept me going---mentally, physically, emotionally and financially all these years: using my writing gift in a way that would not compromise my love for God and trusting him to open the doors as I do it.

Tell Us Your Secrets

I was asked to be a "prayer person" at a concert/praise and worship program my church put on this past weekend.  At a specific part of the program people were encouraged to come forward and be prayed over by a few of us who had the honor to play that role.  Sometimes my church is a little...hesitant to ask for prayer.  I'm not sure why, whenever someone asks to pray for me I'm all in; my life has been profoundly impacted by prayers for me. (unless they are one of those self-righteous churchianity people who just want to "pray" and tell me what I should be doing differently.)  Molly Page, a fellow blogger at http://www.aforeignland.org gets credit for the term churchianity.  It says it so well, yes?

At any rate, I had been praying all week that people would come forward, that they would be blessed in their vulnerability and that they would leave knowing that God had spoken to them.  People did come for prayer.  (Yes!!)  I held hands, hugged, cried, and laughed while praying.  When we ran out of time and turned our attention back to singing I noticed that I felt incredible joy and peace.  Completely....transcendent.

As I sat there after the prayer time, I asked God how I could do it more often.  It builds my faith and serves people in such a profound way.  An idea came and I can just picture an angel whispering it in my ear.

Kathy and Gale and I have talked and prayed about what to add to the blog.  We want it to be a community.  A place where you can bring questions and well, your heart.  So here is the idea.  We are going to start posting more than once a week.  We are going to ask that if you have prayers requests, you send them to us (after you've signed up for our mailing list of course!) and we will post your prayer request along with our written prayer for you.  You can sign your name or leave it anonymously but you will get some prayers and we would love it if you leave comments to let us know how God is answering.  Posting it will allow those who follow the blog to be involved in the praying too.

A FAIR WARNING:  I'm not talking about fluffy safe prayers.  We welcome and challenge you to bring the real stuff.  The wrestle with it in the night stuff.  I feel a little ill at stale prayers...not because I'm judging, but because I know somehow people have learned that it isn't safe to pray the real stuff.  They'll be judged.  Or they have this idea that they have to be "nice" when talking to God.  Read a little about David in the Psalms. He got downright snotty with God and I figure if he was called a man after God's own heart that God can handle us when we are snotty, scared, petulant, greedy, arrogant, whiny, angry, pathetic...you get the idea.  I will also warn you that I do not edit or censor my prayers and so at times I may say things to God that make you uncomfortable.  There is no disrespect.  There is only heart.  OK?  I believe that part of the reason people are leaving Christianity is because they are literally sick of fake.  Of words without passion and prayers without power.  I fervently pray that this will never be the case here.  We believe that people will come to this blog because there is power in God's presence even in the blogosphere!  So who would like to start us off?  Any needs for prayer this week?  We can't wait to talk to God on your behalf.

JUST TO BE CLEAR:
We are asking that you post your prayers in the comment section of this post for now.  We will figure out later how to make it an ongoing section of the blog.  If it is something sensitive, please post anonymously because we will be blogging on it and millions of people the world over will have access to it. (Not that millions will see right now, but they will have access!)  As a therapist I'm a little zealous about confidentiality and all that good stuff.  These won't be confidential so please be aware of that!

We Were Made for More

Is there a whisper in your heart that tells you you were made for more than what you're doing right now?

I have one and it is so incessant I struggle to relax at times.  It pushes and prods me, at times, to distraction. It has a Spiritual connection because my particular voice whispers about a calling God gave me years ago that I haven't yet felt like I was fulfilling.  It is an ache, an irritation, a drive, an inspiration, a push.  And it doesn't stop.

A few weeks ago I asked God to quickly get rid of anything that was getting in the way of my calling.  I told Him that if I freaked out because of too many changes too fast that I would trust Him to walk me through it.  I don't know what I expected, but what I got was getting roped into a class I didn't intend to keep teaching, asked to give up cable television (one of my all time favorite things to do), put on a budget, and impressed to drastically change my diet. Predictably, I got mad.  I felt trapped and irritated to find myself living a life that on the outside looks more restricted than the legalist religious crap that I embraced growing up.

I have wrestled with this until the moments I remember I asked for this.  I am tired of living with the ache of knowing I'm not all I'm meant to be.  That there are things that God has designed for me that I am missing because I have to watch the next episode of Castle...but seriously are Beckett and Castle not adorable?  I digress...

I was praying this morning about all these things God has me doing...living on a budget, letting go of fear around money, eating right, exercising, letting there be enough quiet in the house that I can hear His voice.  I noticed that the benefits have been outweighing the struggles and that there is something inside me that is doing things differently, it is not me.  When I struggle I have been looking up and saying, "This is your problem."  I didn't grow up really understanding that I can't do anything on my own, but I can do anything with Him.  This morning I felt Him tell me that this is what will prepare me for the more He has for me.  That as I learn to be faithful to these things, my faith is being prepared for more.

So bloggers, what is getting in the way of your "more?"

Note: As a relatively new blogger I am learning things each week and what I recently realized is that when people leave comments, they like to hear a response.  Imagine that!  According to my stats page there have been 15 comments and I have not responded to any of them.  I will be rectifying that and not letting it happen in the future.  We want a very interactive community!  This will help us meet your needs and if nothing else it is way more fun!  So leave those comments!  We look forward to getting to know you better.

The Woman Behind "Four Praise Songs!"

My most popular post thus far is called "Four Praise Songs" and in it I talk about how I finally got an idea for working out that is actually working for me.  The friend I got this from is Mary Thompson.  This week's blog will highlight a business Mary has developed (one of many) and for any of you who need some help with designing your home, this might also be a good opportunity.  But first I just want to tell you about my friend.

Mary is a single mother of four amazing, although challenging young adults. (I should know, I used to babysit them.)  In the picture she looks calm and professional but the Mary I know dances to praise music in her kitchen (she used to be a professional dancer), she usually has paint splattered somewhere on her person, her house is usually a wreck (but so full of life and love), and she is one of the few women I have ever met who is able to flirt like a crazy person and have it remain completely harmless and boundaried.

Mary and I met about 13 years ago when I visited a 12-step meeting.  Mary was leading that night and telling her story.  I remember being amazed by her and captivated by the atmosphere in the room as she shared about her life.  There was a passion and strength about Mary that stayed with me.  But I didn't go back to the meeting.  I was struggling in a painful marriage at the time and I wasn't sure this meeting was what I needed.  Flash forward a year and I was in enough pain that I came back.  I didn't care if it was where "I fit", I needed a place to talk, to have it remain confidential, and where I wouldn't be judged.  (It would be nice if all our churches were this way, huh?  But I digress...) I felt like I cried in that meeting every week for about a year.  Mary was in that meeting regularly and her shares were a sort of lifeline for me.  She had been through similar circumstances and was alive and vibrant.

Eventually I worked up my nerve to ask her to sponsor me and thus began our more structured relationship.  Because she was my sponsor she got to know me REALLY well.  Over the years Mary has walked with me through everything...my divorce, moves, and getting accepted to grad school at Vanderbilt. (We screamed like 7th grade cheerleaders when I got my acceptance letter).  We did Bible study together, prayed together, sometimes yelled at each other, and eventually I was able to walk with her through a time of horrific pain in her own life.  Our bond is now that of sisters.

You may have picked up that I think a lot of this amazing woman.  I actually think this is the hardest blog I've written so far because I so much want to do justice to who she is and what our relationship has meant to me.  I remember coming to visit her in Nashville after I moved away.  I had not had any sleep the night before and I remember feeling completely lost because I so wanted to talk and spend time together and I could hardly see straight.  I was afraid that she would be angry because I was too tired to really spend time together.  She didn't get angry, she just put me to bed...in her bed.  She has been absolutely and unconditionally loving to me.  Calling me on it when I was being an idiot but never ever faltering in her love for me.  I have absolutely no idea how I got so blessed because when we met I was an absolute mess.  She taught me God's grace and up until the time I finally got it, she was quite fond of telling me I had no idea what it looked like.

Mary had been a stay at home mom most of her married life and at times bartered her design skills for things her family needed.  After her divorce she had a family member tell her she was going to have to get a job at Walmart.  She didn't feel this was God's calling for her and over the last few years I have seen her continually grow as an entrepreneur.  She has many businesses, but for the purposes of this blog we'll focus on her design business.  Mary calls herself a design coach because rather than foisting her own design signature on people she finds out what works for them and helps them put it together.  Please check out her blog at www.mydesigncoach.com.  Mary has agreed to offer an internet special for anyone who contacts her as a result of this blog.

Mary knows that one of the main reasons people struggle with decorating is because they don't always know what they like.  This is the area Mary shines!  For the purposes of this blog, Mary has put together a deal that will allow you to define your style.  This offer is for a phone consult with 3 follow up emails for $89.00.  Please contact her through her website or at mydesigncoach@gmail.com.  If you live in the Nashville area and have a design project she is available for consult as well.

Define Your Style!

Phone Consult

3 Follow Up Emails

$89.00

mydesigncoach@gmail.com

www.mydesigncoach.com

Desire Surrendered

I had a client who was starting a new relationship ask me how he could remain stable and still enjoy the excitement of the new possibilities.

My husband has recently gotten feelers for a fun new business opportunity and wants to enjoy it, but is also hesitant since it's not for certain.

I know that God put a calling on my life and yet there are moments when I hesitate to live in it...what if I'm being arrogant?  What if I heard wrong?

We have all seen people dive into the heady rush of a new relationship only to be shattered when the truth about their partner comes to light.  People who race toward a dream only to have it end in chaos; and God forbid, I think I heard Him say one thing and got it all wrong.

After pondering these questions I came up with the concept of desire surrendered.  Here's a personal example of how that worked for me.

I was boy crazy from day one.  I started a journal as a child and one of my first entries in childish third grade handwriting is, "I don't know why, but I'm desperate to talk to a BOY."  Can you believe that?  It was the center of who I was, this fascination with the opposite sex and getting them to like me.  I wasn't very good at it as a skinny little thing who was accused of looking like a zipper if I stood sideways and stuck out my tongue.  I made a total fool over myself chasing after  numerous boys with the height of my humiliation being the long term crush on Stephen.  Something in me just lit up when I was with him.  Of course as luck would have it he was in love with my best friend Jenny.  And who could blame him?  She was amazing in every way.

Later as I developed, the boys who used to ignore or make fun of me changed their tune and I reveled in it.  I won't lie.  It was like a drug to me.  I tried not to manipulate or harm them, but there were times that I did.  I felt powerless to be any different.  What I'm trying to say is that my DESIRE was very strong!  And yes, that desire harmed me and others.  I tried to cope by ignoring the desire or faking it.  Neither worked.

Years later in a moment of despair I started to see clearly how my desire had controlled and ruined just about every aspect of my life.  I was separated from my husband, practically homeless until Becca took me in, jobless, and carless.  I wasn't done yet though.  I started going to therapy and support meetings, but I wasn't ready to let go of my desire.

A few years later I saw it with crystal clarity; I was sick of the roller coaster.  Sick of being controlled by my desire for a loving relationship.  Sick of feeling trapped.  I became willing to surrender the desire.  The thing I spent a lifetime...or from 3rd grade at least, chasing.  I decided I was not going to date, or flirt, or even talk on the phone with men.  I told God I wanted Him to be enough.  It took about a year and a half.  I got to the place where I was truly at peace with being single the rest of my life.  When I finally started going out again I found myself on a date with a perfectly nice guy thinking, "I could be cleaning my apartment right now."  This sounds callous but what it really meant was that I had no interest in manipulating him to fall madly in love with me to soothe my wounded heart.

Today I'm married to the man of my dreams...truly.  We are not perfect and there are moments of struggle, but we are in it together.  Every moment of our relationship I work to stay surrendered to God's will for our relationship. (Here is his website if you're interested in checking him out! http://www.marcelcoaching.com/)

Here's the thing; although it was really difficult to let go initially, letting go has offered me freedom.  It has allowed me to enjoy the giddy first moments of my relationship with Marcel and to rest in the safety of knowing his integrity and love for me is eternal.

What are your desires?  Do you run from them, stuff them, disdain them?  What if you surrendered them?  Scripture tells us if we delight ourselves in God, He will give us the desires of our hearts.  What if you told God you would let go of everything in order to find Him?

This blog has been about love and I trust that you are able to make the connections to being an entrepreneur as well.  Surrender the money, even the goals.  Place them in God's hands and see if He doesn't give you beyond what you asked or imagined.

Fear Makes Us Selfish

I have a friend who is plagued by fear.  Name a topic and she can tell you what is scary about it or how it could lead to something bad.  I admit that I have to balance my time with her.  It is generally exhausting and well...scary, to be around her.

The other thing I noticed recently is that she has trouble talking about things outside of what she's scared about.  She has many people who love her and yet she rarely  asks them about their lives or what's going on with them, not because she doesn't care, but because it takes all her energy to talk about the current things she's worried about.

Have you ever been to a performance or listened to a speaker who is so scared the entire audience is tense?  The speaker/performer isn't able to give the audience what they need because they can't see outside their nerves.

Someone who fails a test when they know the information perfectly and just froze with fear while they took it?

How many business opportunities might someone take who is stuck in fear?  Probably zero.  In fear, everything looks like a bad idea.

We all do it all the time and because we all have these moments we start to think it's normal.  Well normal is screwed up!  I don't want normal!

Imagine a scenario in which you did not have to give in to fear.  You knew the secret weapon for dealing with it and when it came over you and tried to put blinders on you, you could tell it to scram.

If you think this scenario is impossible, I encourage you to get help.  There are many people who can support you in addressing this issue, including our team members.  You will need to deal with this issue before you will ever be able to be successful in business.  Business demands that you see outside your box.  That you can identify where there are needs and where you have talents that can meet the need.  If all you see is fear, you will miss countless opportunities.

But when you overcome fear...when you find the secret to peace...there are no limits to what you can do.

If you are interested in coaching from our team, please contact me at noelle1333@gmail.com to set up appointments for Skype or phone.

Impossible

I've been reading a book called "The Bondage Breaker." I'm struggling with it to some degree, wrestling with some new concepts.  But of one thing I am certain; it has given me a new perspective on Spiritual battles.  Satan attacks our thoughts.  If he can distract me from who I am in Christ then he has won that particular battle and I am left with ashes.  And I have been sitting in ashes to some degree this past week.  One time the voice said that God takes away everything I love.  Other times the voice says that none of this (business building) will work and I should just stick to watching dreams happen in the movies.  I don't believe these voices, but this past week I did.  Yes, God has asked me to give up many things that I love.  A little at a time I have chosen to walk away from those things and as I look back at the truth of what happened, I have NEVER regretted it.  God has ALWAYS given me back five times what I could have ever hoped for.  Following God has not been easy, but it has always been worth it.  This woman that I've become.  This woman that I like.  She is here because of God.

I've taken a break from The Bondage Breaker to let it settle and started a book by Davis Bunn called, "My Soul to Keep."  I love Davis Bunn because he manages to write killer good stories without losing the Spiritual connection.  He manages to capture what hearing from the Holy Spirit feels like and writes characters that put it all on the line when they hear from God.  So this morning I was feeling morose and wanting to hide away.  I read for awhile and without giving away the plot, the characters met a disaster and one of the main characters says the following:

"'It's impossible that I would have brought together a major list of investors by calling around a prayer chain.  It's impossible that I've gotten a dozen calls since I got word of the fire, and didn't tell a soul myself.  It's impossible not one of those investor folks would pull out.  It's impossible the only thing they've told me is they're praying hard as they know how.'  Bobby stabbed his finger at the ashes. 'A sign I said and a sign I meant.  Now here's what we're going to do.  We're going to join hands and we're going to pray.  And we're going to ask God to be just what He is.  A great God.  A God of miracles.  We're going to thank Him.  You know why?  Because right here, we have a chance to watch our Lord perform."

I started crying.  My chest feels like it is too small for what is happening inside.  This paragraph is not fiction to me.  I'm choosing to live a life that is not just a story on a page.   I believe that God can be trusted and so I can say to the people on the other side of this screen, watch us.  This blog is just the beginning of what God is going to do.  He has put a burning in our hearts...literally it sometimes hurts;  for women to be free Spiritually, emotionally, and financially.  For all of us to know that His promises are real and letting Him be in control is...

You know the feeling you get inside when you're watching someone you love and they don't know you see them?  The feeling from a song that speaks your soul?  The feeling when you stand out in the rain with your face uplifted and arms outstretched?  They are all intangible moments but they are real.  God is our reality.  His word is our truth even when it doesn't make sense.  You can depend on that.

Nothing that happens will be me, or Gale, or Kathy, or the other women and men who will join our team.  God will get the credit because He's making it happen.  We're just enjoying the love, the song, and the rain.  We hope you'll join us.

Is It Better To Give Than To Receive?

Take a deep breath and blow it all out.  Now keep it that way.  Don't inhale.  Don't receive.  What do you notice happening in your body?  How long are you able to keep it up?  Most of us grew up hearing the cliche that it is better to give than to receive and for every incredible gift we get there is a faint stench of guilt marring the excitement and joy.

Look at the laws of our earth.  Plants take in water, nutrients, and sunlight and in return they give off oxygen for us. Some of them give beautiful blooms, healing properties, or food.  There is no giving without receiving.  We can't survive without taking in breath and giving it back.  If both things have to be in place in order for the other to exist, how can one be better than the other?

How many times have you given someone a compliment and they tell you you're wrong?  It doesn't take long before you learn your lesson and stop complimenting them.  They can't receive it.

I recently learned that the original translation of the phrase, "It is better to give than to receive" is actually "It is better to be in A POSITION to give than A POSITION to need to receive."  It changes the nuances doesn't it?

I have never met a person who didn't long for more.  We are created for abundance and joy.  In relationships,  in Spiritual connection, in finances, in time.  I encourage you to practice receiving this week.  When you get a compliment breathe it in and let it land in your heart.  If you find a coin on the road celebrate it. Notice how much more you have to give at the end of the week when you let God fill you up.

(Concepts adapted from Millionaire Mind Intensive and "The Go Giver.")

The Holidays

I have not gotten anything accomplished recently on any of my entrepreneurial pursuits.  What has been accomplished has been Christmas parties, a graduation, a wedding, seeing clients who are struggling with the stress of the holidays, car drama, and more Christmas parties.  We turned down a couple Christmas parties due to schedule conflicts (and the fact that my little introverted self might have blown into a million pieces at another party).  The other thing I have gotten accomplished was to lose sleep obsessing over our need for a car as our lease is up in January.

I have been surfing the Internet for a month looking at cars, talking with our mechanic, (Euwayne from church who really is one of the kindest, most honorable men I know.  Shout out to Euwayne!!) and combing the classifieds, looking for options.  The problem is that I am a bit of a cheapskate with luxury tastes so I have been determined to find my dream car for dirt cheap.  A few days ago I felt I hit pay dirt.  A beautiful, red Lexus in the price range we had allocated.  I called the dealership and asked for information.

Now for those of you who don't know me, I have a baby voice.  Clients have told me they love it because it is soft and soothing, but on the phone I have often had telemarketers ask if my mommy is at home when I answer the ring.  Sometimes I just say no and hang up. (Brilliant right?)

When I asked for information the salesman said they had just raised the price on the car.  Chalk it up to lack of sleep but my brain told me that he just did it because I have a soft voice and he felt he could scam me.  I kept my composure and told him  no thank you and hung up the phone.  After hanging up the phone expletives ran through my mind at a  rapid pace and I had a strong urge to put my foot through the wall.  This is not normal for me.  I called my husband who got to see my rage first hand and the rest of the day I spent feeling shocked and ashamed of myself.

In the end, we decided to see if we could extend the lease on our car one more month (we can) and that we would give ourselves more time to look.  My dear husband offered to take over browsing for our car.  I imagine he's scared of a repeat of my emotional storm! What all this has left me with is a niggling voice in the back of my head saying, "You're never going to get these projects done.  You're letting yourself get distracted."  Sometimes the voice is meaner than that, but I choose these days not to listen to it.

Here is the thing...my life is mine.  I surrender it to only One and what I know is that He was pleased and I was pleased as we went to the parties, graduations, and weddings, of people who we care about deeply.  I think He was proud I was willing to walk away from a car I would have loved to drive.  It is the right thing to do to focus on others and managing some sort of sanity through a holiday season that is often hectic at best, and a source of deep pain at worst. (I'm thinking of friends and clients who have painful memories, difficult family situations, etc.)  So maybe the holidays put a pause on my projects, but I am committed to them.  I will never give up.  Knowing that, I choose to embrace all the holidays have to offer and look forward to projects that await me in January.

God bless all of you as you do the same.

Finding My Purpose

Earlier this year, I participated in a series of two workshops called True You.  The facilitators are friends and we are looking at partnering with them in a ministry we are connected to.  I wasn’t really excited about giving up two full weekends, but I also feel strongly that as a therapist and entrepreneur, it is important for me to continue growing and never to lose sight of the feeling involved in being the other person “on the couch.”  I never want to ask clients to do something I haven’t been willing to do myself.  So I went.  Gale and Kathy had already participated and raved about the impact it had on them.

The first weekend was hard.  There were exercises that triggered me and at times I felt a lot of anger.  After the first night I went home emotionally exhausted; but I also went home with profound new insights.  One exercise had us addressing character defects that were holding us back.  We had written each defect (about 15 of them for each person) on its own piece of paper and during the exercise two particular pieces of paper ended up right next to each other.  One piece said “inhibited” and the other said “impatient”.  I had been feeling both of those emotions most of my life but I had never put the paradox of both of those items together. Staring at those pieces of paper, it hit me like a 2x4 that I was the one holding myself back.  Fears were keeping me inhibited.  I was standing on the sidelines waiting for someone to ask me to dance rather than going out and doing my own dance...and I was IMPATIENT!  There were goals I was tired of waiting on.  Things I longed to experience.

I came by my fear honestly.  I grew up in a family that was full of tension and anxiety.  In many ways, that has changed, thank God, but I continued to wrestle with my fears.  I had grand dreams and every time I would take a step in that direction, my fears would wake up like a coiled snake.  The anxiety literally felt as if there was something twisting in my gut.  The venom of that anxiety gave me stomach aches, GI issues, regular tension headaches...At some moments I felt it wasn’t worth the anxiety to take the next step.  Years earlier, I woke with that snake writhing inside me and prayed that God would allow me to die.  I wouldn’t take my life, but I fervently wished that God would let me go.

Fear had been a powerful motivator and I was sick of fighting it.  Due to the work I had done over the years though, there had been some progress.  I began to believe that fear would not be a constant and was something God didn’t intend for me.  I got in my Bible and began to claim promises.  I cried in my therapists office, yelled in the quiet of my room, and years later, went to True You and continued to face the final vestiges of my fear.

In the first weekend of True You you develop what they call “a contract” it is basically a short statement that sums up who you are.  In the second weekend you develop a purpose statement.  The whole weekend is built around helping participants find their purpose.  Naming these two items has been transformative.  It reminds me of my direction and keeps me grounded in who I was created to be.  I never could have found them alone.  It took the committed facilitators walking me through it and seeing what I don’t always see to come up with the short statement that now helps to define my direction.

“I am a powerful woman offering certainty in the face of fear.”

God is so ironic.  You would be hard pressed to find someone more timid and scared at heart than I have been.  But by growing through it.  By surrendering.  By fighting.  By drenching myself in and clinging to God’s promises, I have become a powerful woman who offers certainty in the face of fear.

So here is something I’m certain about.  You have the capacity to face your fears.  You have the capacity to do that business you’ve dreamed of.  You have the capacity to build the skill-set and take action.  We hope you’ll join us in the journey.  Let us share our trials and triumphs and let us listen and encourage you in yours.