Desire Surrendered

I had a client who was starting a new relationship ask me how he could remain stable and still enjoy the excitement of the new possibilities.

My husband has recently gotten feelers for a fun new business opportunity and wants to enjoy it, but is also hesitant since it's not for certain.

I know that God put a calling on my life and yet there are moments when I hesitate to live in it...what if I'm being arrogant?  What if I heard wrong?

We have all seen people dive into the heady rush of a new relationship only to be shattered when the truth about their partner comes to light.  People who race toward a dream only to have it end in chaos; and God forbid, I think I heard Him say one thing and got it all wrong.

After pondering these questions I came up with the concept of desire surrendered.  Here's a personal example of how that worked for me.

I was boy crazy from day one.  I started a journal as a child and one of my first entries in childish third grade handwriting is, "I don't know why, but I'm desperate to talk to a BOY."  Can you believe that?  It was the center of who I was, this fascination with the opposite sex and getting them to like me.  I wasn't very good at it as a skinny little thing who was accused of looking like a zipper if I stood sideways and stuck out my tongue.  I made a total fool over myself chasing after  numerous boys with the height of my humiliation being the long term crush on Stephen.  Something in me just lit up when I was with him.  Of course as luck would have it he was in love with my best friend Jenny.  And who could blame him?  She was amazing in every way.

Later as I developed, the boys who used to ignore or make fun of me changed their tune and I reveled in it.  I won't lie.  It was like a drug to me.  I tried not to manipulate or harm them, but there were times that I did.  I felt powerless to be any different.  What I'm trying to say is that my DESIRE was very strong!  And yes, that desire harmed me and others.  I tried to cope by ignoring the desire or faking it.  Neither worked.

Years later in a moment of despair I started to see clearly how my desire had controlled and ruined just about every aspect of my life.  I was separated from my husband, practically homeless until Becca took me in, jobless, and carless.  I wasn't done yet though.  I started going to therapy and support meetings, but I wasn't ready to let go of my desire.

A few years later I saw it with crystal clarity; I was sick of the roller coaster.  Sick of being controlled by my desire for a loving relationship.  Sick of feeling trapped.  I became willing to surrender the desire.  The thing I spent a lifetime...or from 3rd grade at least, chasing.  I decided I was not going to date, or flirt, or even talk on the phone with men.  I told God I wanted Him to be enough.  It took about a year and a half.  I got to the place where I was truly at peace with being single the rest of my life.  When I finally started going out again I found myself on a date with a perfectly nice guy thinking, "I could be cleaning my apartment right now."  This sounds callous but what it really meant was that I had no interest in manipulating him to fall madly in love with me to soothe my wounded heart.

Today I'm married to the man of my dreams...truly.  We are not perfect and there are moments of struggle, but we are in it together.  Every moment of our relationship I work to stay surrendered to God's will for our relationship. (Here is his website if you're interested in checking him out! http://www.marcelcoaching.com/)

Here's the thing; although it was really difficult to let go initially, letting go has offered me freedom.  It has allowed me to enjoy the giddy first moments of my relationship with Marcel and to rest in the safety of knowing his integrity and love for me is eternal.

What are your desires?  Do you run from them, stuff them, disdain them?  What if you surrendered them?  Scripture tells us if we delight ourselves in God, He will give us the desires of our hearts.  What if you told God you would let go of everything in order to find Him?

This blog has been about love and I trust that you are able to make the connections to being an entrepreneur as well.  Surrender the money, even the goals.  Place them in God's hands and see if He doesn't give you beyond what you asked or imagined.

Fear Makes Us Selfish

I have a friend who is plagued by fear.  Name a topic and she can tell you what is scary about it or how it could lead to something bad.  I admit that I have to balance my time with her.  It is generally exhausting and well...scary, to be around her.

The other thing I noticed recently is that she has trouble talking about things outside of what she's scared about.  She has many people who love her and yet she rarely  asks them about their lives or what's going on with them, not because she doesn't care, but because it takes all her energy to talk about the current things she's worried about.

Have you ever been to a performance or listened to a speaker who is so scared the entire audience is tense?  The speaker/performer isn't able to give the audience what they need because they can't see outside their nerves.

Someone who fails a test when they know the information perfectly and just froze with fear while they took it?

How many business opportunities might someone take who is stuck in fear?  Probably zero.  In fear, everything looks like a bad idea.

We all do it all the time and because we all have these moments we start to think it's normal.  Well normal is screwed up!  I don't want normal!

Imagine a scenario in which you did not have to give in to fear.  You knew the secret weapon for dealing with it and when it came over you and tried to put blinders on you, you could tell it to scram.

If you think this scenario is impossible, I encourage you to get help.  There are many people who can support you in addressing this issue, including our team members.  You will need to deal with this issue before you will ever be able to be successful in business.  Business demands that you see outside your box.  That you can identify where there are needs and where you have talents that can meet the need.  If all you see is fear, you will miss countless opportunities.

But when you overcome fear...when you find the secret to peace...there are no limits to what you can do.

If you are interested in coaching from our team, please contact me at noelle1333@gmail.com to set up appointments for Skype or phone.

Taking Control of Your Money

Let's face it, learning and growing demands being willing and able to manage your money.  I have tried numerous types of budgets over the years and usually ended up scrapping the whole idea because when I wrote down the numbers I realized it was impossible to live on what I was making!  Today I'm going to give you a budgeting format that is easy.  I mean it!

It's called the jar system and it was developed by T. Harv. Eker.  There are 6 (maybe 7 if you are self-employed) areas to utilize.

1) Financial Freedom Account (FFA)
2) Long Term Savings Account (LTSS)
3) Giving (GIVE)
4) Education (EDUC)
5) Play (my favorite) (PLAY)
6) Necessities (NEC)

1) The FFA is what Eker calls your "golden goose."  This account NEVER EVER gets spent EVER.  This account is what begins building your empire :) and the only thing you spend are the golden eggs your goose lays.  You can spend on investment opportunities.  For example, my husband and I are currently investing in a new business.  Our FFA money is currently going to that new business.  By investing we are increasing this account.

2) The LTSS is an account we use to save for 6-12 months for things we want or need.  Marcel and I have two of these accounts, one for fun savings, and one for needs that come up.  One account will go toward our trip abroad this year, the other for house repairs, new tires, etc.

3) The GIVE account is pretty clear...if you want to receive, learn to give.  For those of you who are Christians, we are PROMISED abundance when we act in faith in this area.

4) The EDUC will cover the things you need to learn as you grow your business or expand your skill-set in any way. Something that all wealthy people have in common is that they are life long learners.

5) The PLAY account is to be blown in whatever way you wish every single month.  Yes, that is what it means; shopping with no guilt, spa days, books, massages, whatever floats your boat.  When we constrict and hoard we start looking at life that way.  We get resentful and often that leads to over spending or erratic choices.  You must learn to live and receive while you're building your skills.

6) The NEC account is what you use to pay your basic bills; electricity, rent, car pmt. etc.

You're probably wondering how to split all of this up...well here you go.

Taxes - 20% of whatever you bring home if you're self-employed
FFA - 10%
LTSS - 10% (If you have two accounts it is 5% in each account)
GIVE - 10%
PLAY - 10%
NEC - 50%

Let's say you are self employed and bring home $1000.00, here's how it will break down numerically.

Taxes - $200.00
Now you have $800.00 left to split up amongst your jar system
FFA - $80.00
LTSS - $80.00
GIVE - $80.00
PLAY - $80.00
EDUC - $80.00
NEC - $400.00

Now for those of you who exclaim that there is no way you can pay bills on 50% of your income, do not worry.  You can use this system simply by setting up 6 jars in your room or 6 accounts at your bank.  I know a woman who started using the system by splitting up a dollar in her jars.  She had very little to live on but as she practiced good money management her income and resources increased.  The important piece is that you PRACTICE!  If you want to manage millions, learn to manage the smaller amount that you have right now.

Marcel and I have also made some concessions in order to get our NEC account at 50% of our take home.  We've given up our cable television (today is day 1 and so far I have not run out of the house to the movie theater!), I got a less expensive car, and I will be shopping for cheaper car insurance.

On a final note, this budgeting stuff is not for the faint of heart.  Many of us have guilt or shame around money and se we tend to spend it when we get it, ignore it, hoard it, etc.  Any of those habits will be challenged by this new practice, so DON'T TRY TO DO IT ALONE!  Have a friend, coach, counselor, partner, etc. who is committed to learning this with you and above all, connect with God who has ultimate power in your life and is the source of discipline and growth.  Remember God sent Jesus so you can have abundant life...life to the full!  Learning these skills is a part of building abundance so know you are supported and loved as you practice.

Please feel free to ask questions or get feedback from us as well.  Now go forth and conquer!

Impossible

I've been reading a book called "The Bondage Breaker." I'm struggling with it to some degree, wrestling with some new concepts.  But of one thing I am certain; it has given me a new perspective on Spiritual battles.  Satan attacks our thoughts.  If he can distract me from who I am in Christ then he has won that particular battle and I am left with ashes.  And I have been sitting in ashes to some degree this past week.  One time the voice said that God takes away everything I love.  Other times the voice says that none of this (business building) will work and I should just stick to watching dreams happen in the movies.  I don't believe these voices, but this past week I did.  Yes, God has asked me to give up many things that I love.  A little at a time I have chosen to walk away from those things and as I look back at the truth of what happened, I have NEVER regretted it.  God has ALWAYS given me back five times what I could have ever hoped for.  Following God has not been easy, but it has always been worth it.  This woman that I've become.  This woman that I like.  She is here because of God.

I've taken a break from The Bondage Breaker to let it settle and started a book by Davis Bunn called, "My Soul to Keep."  I love Davis Bunn because he manages to write killer good stories without losing the Spiritual connection.  He manages to capture what hearing from the Holy Spirit feels like and writes characters that put it all on the line when they hear from God.  So this morning I was feeling morose and wanting to hide away.  I read for awhile and without giving away the plot, the characters met a disaster and one of the main characters says the following:

"'It's impossible that I would have brought together a major list of investors by calling around a prayer chain.  It's impossible that I've gotten a dozen calls since I got word of the fire, and didn't tell a soul myself.  It's impossible not one of those investor folks would pull out.  It's impossible the only thing they've told me is they're praying hard as they know how.'  Bobby stabbed his finger at the ashes. 'A sign I said and a sign I meant.  Now here's what we're going to do.  We're going to join hands and we're going to pray.  And we're going to ask God to be just what He is.  A great God.  A God of miracles.  We're going to thank Him.  You know why?  Because right here, we have a chance to watch our Lord perform."

I started crying.  My chest feels like it is too small for what is happening inside.  This paragraph is not fiction to me.  I'm choosing to live a life that is not just a story on a page.   I believe that God can be trusted and so I can say to the people on the other side of this screen, watch us.  This blog is just the beginning of what God is going to do.  He has put a burning in our hearts...literally it sometimes hurts;  for women to be free Spiritually, emotionally, and financially.  For all of us to know that His promises are real and letting Him be in control is...

You know the feeling you get inside when you're watching someone you love and they don't know you see them?  The feeling from a song that speaks your soul?  The feeling when you stand out in the rain with your face uplifted and arms outstretched?  They are all intangible moments but they are real.  God is our reality.  His word is our truth even when it doesn't make sense.  You can depend on that.

Nothing that happens will be me, or Gale, or Kathy, or the other women and men who will join our team.  God will get the credit because He's making it happen.  We're just enjoying the love, the song, and the rain.  We hope you'll join us.