The Wind That Brings Change

As I look out my window, not only can I see the trees being tossed around by the wind but  I can also hear it howling and whistling around the windows.  Today the weather in New Mexico is exceptionally windy gusting up to 35mph and is ushering in a cold front causing the temperature to drop 30 degrees.  After enjoying days of 70-80 degree weather my body is screaming, “Noooo!”

I was thinking about the wind bringing sudden and drastic changes in the weather and how God compared it in scripture to His Holy Spirit.  Acts 2:1-2 says, “When the day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.  “And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting.”  This was the fulfillment of God’s promise to send and baptize His disciples with His Holy Spirit to empower them to fulfill their mission to grow the church.  This promise is for us too. 

One morning as I was spending time in prayer and asking God to fill me with more of His Holy Spirit, He directed my attention to the lamp sitting on my desk.  He told Me He could not put a 100watt bulb in a lamp that was only capable of handling 25watts or it would blow a fuse.  God revealed to me that I was unwilling to surrender and give Him power and control over all of my life. He would not compete or force His power on me. The more control I release to Him, the more He can fill me with His power.

What I have come to realize is when I surrender and give God control over every area of my life I don’t have to be fearful of being denied of or losing anything, I am only making room for something much greater, His power! 

I pray daily to experience the wind that brings change, the power of God’s Holy Spirit, to fill and empower me to accomplish what God is asking me to do.  I believe as His power increases and my power decreases I have positioned myself to experience the “and suddenly” move of God in my life and circumstances. 

Kathy Hammond

Time to Get Real

Please welcome Michelle to our circle.  Below is a piece she wrote while wrestling with the decision about what dream to choose.  It gives me chills and we are thrilled she allowed us to post it.  Please let her know how it hits you in the comments section.  I love this girl and would love for her to have an overwhelming response from those of you it touches!

Why am I even here? To accept love? To give love? Giving voice to dreams? Somehow there's a disconnect; between my head and my heart. Between my life and my dreams. And a pulsating, fervent warrior drums the lull of "more" in my chest.

But what? Where? What more can I achieve? I feel lik such a loser. Like I could try to live the life I want but it wouldn't work out for me because I'm not a good enough person. Like who wants me, ala carte?

I feel so weak, vulnerable, impotent. "Welcome to my life, I have nothing to offer." I will be discontent even here. Going abroad will not make the drummer stop. More. More. More. He says I'm made for more. It thumps through my veins. More. So if it is some "god-sized-hole" and it's not going away, I guess I have to deal with it. Quit running and dodging and hiding from this hole. Or pretending it's not there. Or stuffing it quiet with stress, tasteless food, heartless exercise, and bland relationships where I am not me.

Even hearing the phrase "god-sized-hole," I think, "what a croc." So maybe I'll give it another, more comfortable name. I'll just call it More. More says there are untapped depths of self-love. More says I was made for more than SUVs, cubicles, stale TV shows, Facebook, overeating. More says take off your blindfold, you are wandering in a fenced-off pig pen seeking the next comfort when there are the most beautiful mountains just on the horizon. The most beautiful flowers that create the most appealing fragrances fill the valley. Gentle animals wander and play, exuding a trust and calmness that comes from knowing they are safe. More points out the easy, pure joy of children, even those who don't have a lot of comfortable things.

More urges me to stop and hold hands, look into the eyes of a young boy with a swollen belly from malnutrition. I feel angry, heartbroken, enraged, empowered to help this boy live. No matter what it takes. To put as much into caring for him as I have into pursuing comfort. To let go of the resistance and surrender to the course of life's stream, taking me to unknown and wonderful places.

I scream - "AM I GOOD ENOUGH? I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN."

Self-doubt has been a lifelong friend.

Ok. Fine. I relent. Love me. Let me find happiness providing equality and hope. Maybe I have a savior complex. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels because I'm not living wholeheartedly here, so how do I expect to do so just because I'm in a foreign country? Maybe living wholeheartedly is easier abroad because that's always been my clear purpose with humanitarian trips. Literally waking up every morning to make someone's day better and mine is certainly at the top of that list.

My heart can't escape the din of the battlefront. I want in it. I want to fight, to tend to the sick, to suit up and show up. I think I should be doing this here, maybe I can start by practicing little things. I could experiment by doing something that gives me the feeling of living my purpose. Today.

God. This is not for the numb.

The First Few Days in LA

It has been my experience that when I’m in a time of action...when I’m on track Spiritually and feel like I’ve been given a purpose; when I’m moving toward that purpose; obstacles come up...opportunities if you will.  They may be a simple departure from what I thought my schedule was going to be, an illness, etc.  But I have also noticed that the more important the purpose, the more opportunities I have.  My experience in this area has been confirmed by my first few days in LA, before the conference began.

On the plane I felt God suggest that I spend some time in my Bible.  I don’t like reading my Bible in sight of strangers because I don’t want to be mistaken for one of those obnoxious Christians.  You know the type right?  Pushy and invasive...”have you been saved brother?”  I make no judgement on the state of their hearts, but I have never heard of Jesus interacting with anyone like that.  So I argued with God.  I kept hearing Him say that I would get a gift if I did it.  So finally I put down my Kindle and got out my Bible (Yes, I admit it, I tried to hide the cover.  God’s not done with me yet.)  

Here was my gift...Matthew 25:14-33.  It’s the parable about investments; one servant getting 5000 talents, another 2000, and another 1000.  The first two servants doubled their investment and the last buried it to keep it “safe.”   The last servant gets chastised by his master.  “The master was furious.  That’s a terrible way to live!  It’s criminal to live cautiously like that!  If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least?  The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.  Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most.  And get rid of this ‘play it safe’ who won’t go out on a limb.” (The Message) 

 I feel like I’m out on a limb much of the time.  Much of what I’m doing currently is a new skill set.  But I feel called to it.  I’m risking just like He asks me to do.  Walking in faith.

Opportunity #1, Gift #1

Susan and I met with a dear friend of mine on Sunday.  She is a vibrant amazing woman who I got to know through Marcel when I moved to LA.  I adore her and her story will just blow you away (maybe I’ll interview her for the blog someday.)  Yesterday though, I noticed she wasn’t quite the same as when I last saw her.  She was still funny and warm and beautiful, but there was an edge.  A sadness.  As we all talked over lunch she shared about the struggles she’s been having.  Longing to have a baby, in a church more legalistic than alive, struggling with what she feels she’s been taught and what feels like it’s killing her spirit.  We ended up coming back to the hotel and doing some serious talking with God in which there were tears and hugs.  She told us that she had been hesitant to talk to God lately but what prayer life she had consisted of, “I’m lost, help me.”  “Send me something.”  She left at peace.  I thought we were just going to have brunch and go shopping.  God had other plans.

Opportunity #2, Gift #2

About 24 hours after arriving I got a stomachache.  To give you a sense of what it felt like I would say picture someone taking your stomach out, scraping it up on the inside with a fork so it’s nice and red and raw, and then letting fire ants loose in it.  Pepto Bismal didn’t touch it, but I was still getting hungry at meal times...can we say infuriating?  Susan prayed for me, but nothing shifted.  For two days it ached.  I was a bit whiny I must admit.  I had been looking forward to visiting my favorite eateries for weeks.  I questioned God, and in general drove Susan crazy.  The night before the conference was to begin I announced to Susan, God, and whoever else was listening, that I knew I was at the conference for a reason and that nothing was going to stop me from being there.  That I would “drag my sorry butt to the meetings stomach ache or not.”  I topped this proclamation off by announcing, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper!”  The next morning I woke up with no pain....and promptly lost my wallet...yes, the entire thing.  I had asked God to increase my faith while I was doing my meditation that morning...I have learned it is best not to play around with that particular request. Lol.  I found the wallet (It had fallen out of my purse in the rental car that we had already returned) and the man who returned it got several enthusiastic hugs from me.

Opportunity #3 & 4, Gift #3 &4

After all this, the conference began.  It was amazing.  I felt like I got my MBA in a week and the gifts were incredible.  I’ll share about some of the things I learned in future blogs.  

Opportunities 5-1 Million, Gifts 5-1 Million

For now, since this particular post is getting long, I will sign off saying that the opportunities that came up made me realize that when I’m living in my purpose, I will be attacked, the bigger the attack, the bigger the threat I am.  Anne Lamott, one of my favorite authors, talks about the idea that the bigger the difficulty the more important the thing is that is being birthed.  

What’s being birthed in you right now?  What are the opportunities that are disguised as obstacles?  Remember as you navigate it that the bigger the difficulty, the bigger the gift at the end.

Tell Us Your Secrets

I was asked to be a "prayer person" at a concert/praise and worship program my church put on this past weekend.  At a specific part of the program people were encouraged to come forward and be prayed over by a few of us who had the honor to play that role.  Sometimes my church is a little...hesitant to ask for prayer.  I'm not sure why, whenever someone asks to pray for me I'm all in; my life has been profoundly impacted by prayers for me. (unless they are one of those self-righteous churchianity people who just want to "pray" and tell me what I should be doing differently.)  Molly Page, a fellow blogger at http://www.aforeignland.org gets credit for the term churchianity.  It says it so well, yes?

At any rate, I had been praying all week that people would come forward, that they would be blessed in their vulnerability and that they would leave knowing that God had spoken to them.  People did come for prayer.  (Yes!!)  I held hands, hugged, cried, and laughed while praying.  When we ran out of time and turned our attention back to singing I noticed that I felt incredible joy and peace.  Completely....transcendent.

As I sat there after the prayer time, I asked God how I could do it more often.  It builds my faith and serves people in such a profound way.  An idea came and I can just picture an angel whispering it in my ear.

Kathy and Gale and I have talked and prayed about what to add to the blog.  We want it to be a community.  A place where you can bring questions and well, your heart.  So here is the idea.  We are going to start posting more than once a week.  We are going to ask that if you have prayers requests, you send them to us (after you've signed up for our mailing list of course!) and we will post your prayer request along with our written prayer for you.  You can sign your name or leave it anonymously but you will get some prayers and we would love it if you leave comments to let us know how God is answering.  Posting it will allow those who follow the blog to be involved in the praying too.

A FAIR WARNING:  I'm not talking about fluffy safe prayers.  We welcome and challenge you to bring the real stuff.  The wrestle with it in the night stuff.  I feel a little ill at stale prayers...not because I'm judging, but because I know somehow people have learned that it isn't safe to pray the real stuff.  They'll be judged.  Or they have this idea that they have to be "nice" when talking to God.  Read a little about David in the Psalms. He got downright snotty with God and I figure if he was called a man after God's own heart that God can handle us when we are snotty, scared, petulant, greedy, arrogant, whiny, angry, pathetic...you get the idea.  I will also warn you that I do not edit or censor my prayers and so at times I may say things to God that make you uncomfortable.  There is no disrespect.  There is only heart.  OK?  I believe that part of the reason people are leaving Christianity is because they are literally sick of fake.  Of words without passion and prayers without power.  I fervently pray that this will never be the case here.  We believe that people will come to this blog because there is power in God's presence even in the blogosphere!  So who would like to start us off?  Any needs for prayer this week?  We can't wait to talk to God on your behalf.

JUST TO BE CLEAR:
We are asking that you post your prayers in the comment section of this post for now.  We will figure out later how to make it an ongoing section of the blog.  If it is something sensitive, please post anonymously because we will be blogging on it and millions of people the world over will have access to it. (Not that millions will see right now, but they will have access!)  As a therapist I'm a little zealous about confidentiality and all that good stuff.  These won't be confidential so please be aware of that!

We Were Made for More

Is there a whisper in your heart that tells you you were made for more than what you're doing right now?

I have one and it is so incessant I struggle to relax at times.  It pushes and prods me, at times, to distraction. It has a Spiritual connection because my particular voice whispers about a calling God gave me years ago that I haven't yet felt like I was fulfilling.  It is an ache, an irritation, a drive, an inspiration, a push.  And it doesn't stop.

A few weeks ago I asked God to quickly get rid of anything that was getting in the way of my calling.  I told Him that if I freaked out because of too many changes too fast that I would trust Him to walk me through it.  I don't know what I expected, but what I got was getting roped into a class I didn't intend to keep teaching, asked to give up cable television (one of my all time favorite things to do), put on a budget, and impressed to drastically change my diet. Predictably, I got mad.  I felt trapped and irritated to find myself living a life that on the outside looks more restricted than the legalist religious crap that I embraced growing up.

I have wrestled with this until the moments I remember I asked for this.  I am tired of living with the ache of knowing I'm not all I'm meant to be.  That there are things that God has designed for me that I am missing because I have to watch the next episode of Castle...but seriously are Beckett and Castle not adorable?  I digress...

I was praying this morning about all these things God has me doing...living on a budget, letting go of fear around money, eating right, exercising, letting there be enough quiet in the house that I can hear His voice.  I noticed that the benefits have been outweighing the struggles and that there is something inside me that is doing things differently, it is not me.  When I struggle I have been looking up and saying, "This is your problem."  I didn't grow up really understanding that I can't do anything on my own, but I can do anything with Him.  This morning I felt Him tell me that this is what will prepare me for the more He has for me.  That as I learn to be faithful to these things, my faith is being prepared for more.

So bloggers, what is getting in the way of your "more?"

Note: As a relatively new blogger I am learning things each week and what I recently realized is that when people leave comments, they like to hear a response.  Imagine that!  According to my stats page there have been 15 comments and I have not responded to any of them.  I will be rectifying that and not letting it happen in the future.  We want a very interactive community!  This will help us meet your needs and if nothing else it is way more fun!  So leave those comments!  We look forward to getting to know you better.

Desire Surrendered

I had a client who was starting a new relationship ask me how he could remain stable and still enjoy the excitement of the new possibilities.

My husband has recently gotten feelers for a fun new business opportunity and wants to enjoy it, but is also hesitant since it's not for certain.

I know that God put a calling on my life and yet there are moments when I hesitate to live in it...what if I'm being arrogant?  What if I heard wrong?

We have all seen people dive into the heady rush of a new relationship only to be shattered when the truth about their partner comes to light.  People who race toward a dream only to have it end in chaos; and God forbid, I think I heard Him say one thing and got it all wrong.

After pondering these questions I came up with the concept of desire surrendered.  Here's a personal example of how that worked for me.

I was boy crazy from day one.  I started a journal as a child and one of my first entries in childish third grade handwriting is, "I don't know why, but I'm desperate to talk to a BOY."  Can you believe that?  It was the center of who I was, this fascination with the opposite sex and getting them to like me.  I wasn't very good at it as a skinny little thing who was accused of looking like a zipper if I stood sideways and stuck out my tongue.  I made a total fool over myself chasing after  numerous boys with the height of my humiliation being the long term crush on Stephen.  Something in me just lit up when I was with him.  Of course as luck would have it he was in love with my best friend Jenny.  And who could blame him?  She was amazing in every way.

Later as I developed, the boys who used to ignore or make fun of me changed their tune and I reveled in it.  I won't lie.  It was like a drug to me.  I tried not to manipulate or harm them, but there were times that I did.  I felt powerless to be any different.  What I'm trying to say is that my DESIRE was very strong!  And yes, that desire harmed me and others.  I tried to cope by ignoring the desire or faking it.  Neither worked.

Years later in a moment of despair I started to see clearly how my desire had controlled and ruined just about every aspect of my life.  I was separated from my husband, practically homeless until Becca took me in, jobless, and carless.  I wasn't done yet though.  I started going to therapy and support meetings, but I wasn't ready to let go of my desire.

A few years later I saw it with crystal clarity; I was sick of the roller coaster.  Sick of being controlled by my desire for a loving relationship.  Sick of feeling trapped.  I became willing to surrender the desire.  The thing I spent a lifetime...or from 3rd grade at least, chasing.  I decided I was not going to date, or flirt, or even talk on the phone with men.  I told God I wanted Him to be enough.  It took about a year and a half.  I got to the place where I was truly at peace with being single the rest of my life.  When I finally started going out again I found myself on a date with a perfectly nice guy thinking, "I could be cleaning my apartment right now."  This sounds callous but what it really meant was that I had no interest in manipulating him to fall madly in love with me to soothe my wounded heart.

Today I'm married to the man of my dreams...truly.  We are not perfect and there are moments of struggle, but we are in it together.  Every moment of our relationship I work to stay surrendered to God's will for our relationship. (Here is his website if you're interested in checking him out! http://www.marcelcoaching.com/)

Here's the thing; although it was really difficult to let go initially, letting go has offered me freedom.  It has allowed me to enjoy the giddy first moments of my relationship with Marcel and to rest in the safety of knowing his integrity and love for me is eternal.

What are your desires?  Do you run from them, stuff them, disdain them?  What if you surrendered them?  Scripture tells us if we delight ourselves in God, He will give us the desires of our hearts.  What if you told God you would let go of everything in order to find Him?

This blog has been about love and I trust that you are able to make the connections to being an entrepreneur as well.  Surrender the money, even the goals.  Place them in God's hands and see if He doesn't give you beyond what you asked or imagined.

Fear Makes Us Selfish

I have a friend who is plagued by fear.  Name a topic and she can tell you what is scary about it or how it could lead to something bad.  I admit that I have to balance my time with her.  It is generally exhausting and well...scary, to be around her.

The other thing I noticed recently is that she has trouble talking about things outside of what she's scared about.  She has many people who love her and yet she rarely  asks them about their lives or what's going on with them, not because she doesn't care, but because it takes all her energy to talk about the current things she's worried about.

Have you ever been to a performance or listened to a speaker who is so scared the entire audience is tense?  The speaker/performer isn't able to give the audience what they need because they can't see outside their nerves.

Someone who fails a test when they know the information perfectly and just froze with fear while they took it?

How many business opportunities might someone take who is stuck in fear?  Probably zero.  In fear, everything looks like a bad idea.

We all do it all the time and because we all have these moments we start to think it's normal.  Well normal is screwed up!  I don't want normal!

Imagine a scenario in which you did not have to give in to fear.  You knew the secret weapon for dealing with it and when it came over you and tried to put blinders on you, you could tell it to scram.

If you think this scenario is impossible, I encourage you to get help.  There are many people who can support you in addressing this issue, including our team members.  You will need to deal with this issue before you will ever be able to be successful in business.  Business demands that you see outside your box.  That you can identify where there are needs and where you have talents that can meet the need.  If all you see is fear, you will miss countless opportunities.

But when you overcome fear...when you find the secret to peace...there are no limits to what you can do.

If you are interested in coaching from our team, please contact me at noelle1333@gmail.com to set up appointments for Skype or phone.

Shame Spiral

It seems the world has gone mad sometimes.  I know the media always has some catastrophe to report, but I’m talking beyond that.  There are moments where it seems every email, every phone call and every client contact I have, someone is going through a crisis.  I have wondered at times why this seems to happen, and all I can figure right now is that the holidays are often incredibly difficult and they invariably bring up any old pain people have that hasn’t been addressed.  I often feel sad about this, but not hopeless.  I see it as a chance for people to heal on a deeper level.  To let God touch their pain and clean out the wound.

I don’t say this from a professional detached place.  I say it from a personal place.  There have been moments in my life where to let God touch and see my pain feels like it might kill me.  And it’s no wonder, His love is that powerful.  Ephesians talks about God building us up from the inside so we can understand the depth, the height, and the width of His love for us.  That recently hit me on a deeper level and I realized that to let someone touch our shame and pain, to let someone see it and face complete love in response; takes some inner strength.  And scripture tells us that God needs to build us up so we can take it.  Without that build up, the power of God’s love would crush us.

In the face of our pain though, it seems we often think the answer is to start listing all the ways we are despicable people.  I call it the "shame spiral."  The voice in our head that says horrendous things that we would never consider saying to someone else.  And what’s worse is that sometimes we attack anyone who suggests this may not be a good idea.  Scripture talks about Christ not coming into the world to condemn the world.  That voice in our heads that tells us we’re horrible people and the world would be better off without us; that is Satan.  It never comes from Christ.  

I have done a fair share of sinning.  Things that I don’t feel comfortable posting on the internet.  I have noticed over the years in the face of things that I didn’t even know I was capable of, God has always been gentle in His correction of me.  He has always lovingly brought me back to His side.  And sometimes the face of that love has been more painful than if God was beating me up.  So I beat myself up and on some level feel more pious because of it.

When people I love are convinced they are so bad there are no answers for them I feel angry. I see it as a direct victory for Satan. I feel angry because I know the years and the joy that the same cycle cost me. It impacts every level.  We certainly can’t build a business in that place.  Really all there is to do in that place is to numb the pain somehow.  Purge, drink, use, have sex, cut, shop, eat...the list of behaviors that will medicate us is long.  And then we feel guilt and the cycle continues because we have new and fresh evidence of how horrible we are.

Here is the reality, you are the Bride of Christ.  Sounds cliche?  Heard it all before?  

Start by picking out the dress.  Money is no object because the Father of the bride owns the universe.  Picture your dream dress.  The flowers.  The setting.  Perfect in every way, with all of the people you love present.  Go ahead and picture it.  Who is there?  Close your eyes and see the details.  Smell the smells.  Taste the food.  What’s on the menu?  Feel the beating of your heart to know You have told Him everything about you, the best and the worst, and He loves you without hesitation or reservation.  Watch His eyes as you walk toward Him.

After the wedding you get to look forward not to a life of perfection, but a life of perfect love, a life where someone is standing by your side through every trial.  Someone who will walk beside you and has all the resources you need to build your business, raise your children, and bask in love.  

This is our reality.  We walk by faith and not by sight.  That means our reality is unseen, but just as real as the ground under our feet.  This New Year, what would it look like to ignore the lies and step into the reality we see in God’s eyes?  How would your life change?  And what would you do with this clean slate?  

Feel free to leave comments.  We'd LOVE to hear from you.

Four Praise Songs

 I have a dear friend.  She is 57 years old and has raised 4 kids.  She has been one of my dearest friends for approximately 14 years now and she has seen me through some of the darkest times in my life.  

Recently she told me she had realized a need to lose a few pounds and while I heard this report by phone it was a month or two later before I was able to see her in person. The next time I saw her she had not only lost weight, but she had toned up.  I could see the muscles in her arms, even when she wasn’t flexing.  I asked her what she had been doing for a work out.  She proudly announced “Four praise songs!” while she dragged out a Nordic Track she had gotten at a garage sale for $7.00. 

My friend was doing the Nordic Track daily while listening to four praise songs. I couldn’t believe the difference in how she looked and it hit me that this might be my answer as well. I HATE working out.  In high school and college, I was an athlete and played every sport my school had to offer: Intramural softball, basketball, volleyball, flag football, and for one glorious year I held my high school's record in the quarter mile.  Somehow when I was competing it wasn’t about exercise.  It was about...well, competition, and I happen to be a bit driven. 

After I graduated, though, chances to play were fewer and farther between and since I’ve always had a high metabolism I didn’t HAVE to exercise.  It didn’t really show and I maintained a thin physique.  Since hitting my mid 30's, for the first time in my life, I have had to consider starting an exercise routine or getting a new wardrobe.  The other thought that occurred to me was some recent research I had come across. The research demonstrated that exercise done with a negative attitude or thought process didn’t bring the benefits of exercise done that was enjoyable.  At the time I thought, “I’m screwed.” I had not found a workout that I could stand.

A few months after Mary’s disclosure I went to a personal growth seminar.  (More on that soon.) As a part of the seminar you are asked to pick two things that you will say “yes” to.  I decided to say yes to praising God in a physically active way 2-3 times per week.  To some degree I put this down out of desperation and not any stitch of me was looking forward to fulfilling this commitment.   On the last day of this seminar I was leaping around cheering for one of the other participants (not the norm for me) and I felt something in my ankle pop.  It didn’t hurt...not until later after I continued leaping around on it.  On some level I was relieved.  I could legitimately put off my physically active praising.

So here I am  today.  My first day back from a fantastic vacation with the love of my life.  My ankle is still tight but improving.   I decided this was the day.  I turned on the stereo and began to bounce on our woefully ignored mini trampoline.  Casting Crowns was first and I began to sing with them.

I was jumping up and down vigorously and would likely have harmonized nicely with a dying cow.   The craziest thing happened.  I lost myself.  I raised my hands.  The things I woke up worrying about in the middle of the night disappeared and my spirit felt like flying.  I had brief thoughts of what the neighbors would do if they saw me through my back windows and laughed as I realized I was happy to endure a little embarrassment in order to feel this way.   Praising left me with the joy.  It left me feeling indomitable.  Like a superhero.  There is nothing God and I can’t do.  On a side note, I worked up a killer good sweat.

So what does this have to do with being a woman entrepreneur?  You figure it out...try some leaping and dancing to four praise songs and let me know what happens.